Monday, December 23, 2013

The Electric Mosque Chapter 4 - ...among the hens : Kiryat Shmona 2006

 Look at the skies Jack, what do you see?

The night, not the ice pick stabbings of light that burn through it, but that night which rolls over us, no not rolls, there is nothing that comes. Not washes, not a tide, no. We sit beneath the sky and watch the collaping rays of our dying sun erode around us, and watch it reveal what the light concealed.

There are some decadent italian sweets, so rich that they are usualy served in cubic inch servings, which are composed of a light chocolate cake at it’s base and resting above is a black gel quivering shimering, impenetrable. Black, the absense of color, in it’s obsidian shimmer, we see it quiver as it shakes in the air, reflecting colors at radom off it’s surface with its core impenetrable. That reminds me of night.

Above us, in that darkness emerges fire, the forests are on fire, two heilocopters have gone down. It is a few miles down to the south, our eyes a yellow candle flame, through the lens, it becomes a camp fire, double extend the lens, it is an inferno. Pipe it back to NYC, it will look great to read the weather over. The guy behind the camera wears a cowboy hat and has an enormous cock.


On my arrival at the FAT live position, they were slicing the roast beef. The chef’s assistant was putting out the plates, lighting the sternos, and setting up tables. Salad: red tomatos, fine boston lettuce, thin slices of fresh red pepper, olive oil. Beef: red, blood, steaming, crisp near black exterior. Fish: Tilapia, steamed in white wine, parsely, St. Peter’s Fish, do you have the courage to reach in and pull the shekl from his mouth. Bottles, bottles, bottles, water and wine. All of this placed under TV lights, red heads 300w, thowing wide cones of light on this feast.

The sandwiches in my bag, sponges with curdled milk. The shortest distance between me and that food, well a straight line. Grab a cucumber and ask for the asstant beuro chief.

Flames on the sterno cans. Yellow tounge waiving, dances emerging from the night. It is deep red in it’s base among the trees. This deep red slowly blends to yellow, leaping up into the night sky...

The main corispondent, Kuhuna, lies on the roof and stares at the stars:
-God look at that sky, it would be great to have some pot right now.

The cowboy with the big dick looked through the lens to reframe on the fire. He’s called Hoss.

You don’t expect to see cowboy hats in Israel, it just doesn’t seem like the place. Ok Ben Gurion called the Palestinians : our red indians, but this guy wasn’t like that. Hoss was a big guy with a shaved head. His body was a block of muscle, with a giant dick that protruded out of his tight jeans. He made all of the US crews really unconforatble. It wasn’t his talent, he wasn’t a camera man, he was just working it because everyone else had rushed out. It was that he kept using the words ridiculus, stupid, apartide, saying them in an Israeli accent, that kind of thing and it made the Americans feel uncomfortale.  Or it is his giant dick. The americans were constantly avoiding looking at it, averting their gaze in any direction but the dick. That and his dick, some things you just got to keep down.

Kahuna scaned from star to star, his feet tapping to the sound of heavy weapons fire:
-It’s wonderful not to be in the damn studio, to be where the story is. It’s a crying shame to be trapped here, a shame not to be out there, where the action is. Damn exects...

Kahuna stooped foward in the mocking motions of an old man:
-You’re too big of an investment. If something would happen to you, we’d be fucked. Its amazing, to be so valuble that you are useless. God a joint would be great right now.

Lurch, the camera man from New Zealand called up from below:
-Kauhna, you’re up in ten.

Kahuna jumped up and his hair was perfect. There was no sense that it was just gel, no his hair was just perfect. Kahuna just leaps up and every strand was in place, ran over the roof and came to the edge, and looked down at the roof terrace beneath him, lit up with TV lights, the steady movements of workers. Past the edge of the terrace were the outlines of trees touched by our lights, disolving in the acid of night.

Kahuna dashed down the ladder, arms elated, hand over hand like a student at school he went down and landed by the 3 meter sat dish, from behind that he ran twoards the lights.

The ground floor terrace, where the food had been layed out, was swarmed with insects. Less interested with the food, they came to the lights. Gathering within the tight cones they cast. Between the light stands a spider had started to spin a web. The FAT beuro chief turned them off, lites a cigarette and pours himself a glass of wine.

We had set up three live positions, each one at a different angle to the ridge rising before us to the east. At each was a cable drop, lights and two flight cases to stand on, one for the corispondent one for the cameraman. From the live positions the cables formed tributaries of news flowing into the river of copper, entering a white room with marble floors, once an executive conference room, now littered with folding chairs around an electric alter of video, three paths of video running back to new york. The video priest seated before the monitors, switches, encoders and little blinking lights, was Sean O’casey, already drunk on Golan Wine. His red stained fingers, played over the buttons insuring the sacrificial lambs of the news were slaughtered; impromtu abitoir.

Behind Sean was Jimmy Giatano in a Judas Priest Tee shirt, that was brand new. How disturbing, a new Judas Priest tee shirt, someone made this recently... what excuse could they have to make one?  Perhaps they just over printed them in ’83 and kept them in some wearhouse in Florida, which is where Jimmy was from. Don’t get me wrong, Judas Priest rocks, but the fashion only works in the Gay Leather Boy S&M, Breakin the Law sense. Or put more simply, the Judas Priest sense and Jimmy never said if that was the sense he made of it.

The building we were in, a digital video bunker. The           facility was top line, built for war. The guy who owned it had been Rimjob’s main stringer and had put every dime into the place on the bet the border would go up in flames. Good bet. A Better Homes and Bomb shelters installation with it’s multiple views of the ridge that marked the border with the Lebanon. On top of the ridge were a few Kibuztim, and the word was, they were a party. Lots of drugs, lots of sex, dancing into the night. Not tonight of course, tonight the were big targets, for the Gay Leather Boy S&M Islamic fundamentalist paramilitary scene next door. Not the Judas Priest sense at all.

 My finger rolled over the SX edit controller, machine to machine tape editing. The Americans bought thousands of these units for Afganistan, and they suck. Just another trick by the Sony corporation that they fell for. Black, squat, monitors built in, and the whirl of the tape within.

American corispondents are very different than corispondents from the rest of the world. Most corispondents sit with you, work with the pictures, rewrite the script so that it speaks directly to the picture. Perhaps they run out to do a few lines of coke, or go appolgize to their spouce  and you fill in some black holes.

Americans hand you a tape with their voice recorded on it and they go away. You sit and cut it in twenty minets, then sit three hours waiting for your producer to approve it. And when they don’t, you have ten minets to make the changes.

The story featured the a female corispondent with great hair, who embodied gravitas for FAT, she was a brunette. The story was that she was walking among the young IDF troops and stareing at their huge weapons. Like a pixie she jumps into a foxhole. Crawling around trenches with young sweaty soldiers, asking them if they were feeling good. At one point she tickled the balls hanging on a tank. No bullshit, she tickled the dangeling steel balls on a tank. The tanks in this divison had small metal balls haning around it, which the corispondent swore was to divert missles. Or that’s just what the soldiers told her, while trying to get those balls in her mouth.

The ray gun sputters, she starts licking the tank’s sack. She leans over to get the whole thing in her mouth, as an 18 year old hikes up her dress from behind. He licks his fingers and puts down his rifle.

Polly Flinders, the twenty four year old producer, comes over to see the piece. She loves the balls. She freaks when she sees the images of rifle and artillery fire striking a Lebanese village:
-My god you put an image of a Mosque there!

Yea it’s a great shot, really emblematic; it was on your field tape.

-Why would you put that shot in?!

It is a haunting image that gives a clear sense of the location.

-But we can’t put that in there. We don’t want to give people the idea that the IDF is fireing on Mosques, said Polly.

At which point, on the tape, automatic weapons fire hits the Mosque. Polly Ann looks at me, like shit is spewing out of my ears:
-You really don’t get this story don’t you.

Quick shot change, generic stone house, generic faceless dead.  Barbarella, the corispondent, comes over brushing her long brown hair, strokeing the forearms of two passing soldiers, looking for a manwich.  She’s cool with it, except that in her standup she says something that makes her sound stupid. She wants me to cut her off in mid sentance to make her sound less stupid. Which is impossible.

-Just what is that supposed to mean? asks Barbarella.

My point is not that it is impossible to make you sound less stupid, that should be quite possible, there must be a way, we did put a man on the moon... it’s just that we can’t make the cut here, your voice is cueing that your sentance is continueing, you would be up cut.

-Well a real editor could make the cut, says Barbarella.

A real editor, Jimmy, comes over and looks at the tape. Barbarella asks him to make the cut.

-You can’t, you would be up cut. You would sound like an idiot, says Jimmy.

Idiot in network nomenclature is worse than stupid. The pecking order goes, fool, fuck up, moron, stupid, idiot and executive producer.  

Barbarella does a hair flip and walks out onto the terrace.

Kahuna is already standing on a flight case, with a part of the forest behind him alight on Camera 1. Barbarella stands with the edge of the ridge behind her on Camera 2. On Camera 3 we have Cheri Blonde who is doing all the afliates, she is also reporting for them.

Sean pours himself another plastic glass of wine and slaps at the the mosquitoes devouring his pasty white legs.
-Ok in 5 Kahuna is going to do an interview remote with Barbarella, he says.

But they are standing two meters away from each other.

-God damn it Jack, they are standing two yards away from each other! We use American measures, New York time, and other shit like that! And don’t you fucking refer to them as imperial measures again, this is the United States! Sean yells at me while pointing out the window at Israel. He grasps wildly at the floor.

-Where is that god damned bottle... Now one more time; Kahuna is in FAT HQ Israel and Barbarella is in Kiryat Shmona. That is what their screen IDs say and that is where they are. You get it.

Sure, this is better. If you give one corispondent a camera you have to give the same camera to the other corispondent, or else they get jelouse and fight. Also if you shoot them together, then they look at each other like human beings, shoot them separate then they look like snide roadkill, right befor the MAC truck smears them cross the road.

Sean smiles:
-That’s the spirit! Good you got it. Semus! Semus! Get your fucking head out of the fucking Yankee game! We are on the air!

Semus was dressed in a Yankees jersey, Yankees atheltic shorts, Yankees socks. Yankess jock strap and had a Yankees logo tattooed on his forearm. He had set up a video encoder at FAT in New York to encode the Yankee game and transmit it on the internet to his laptop. He seemed to like baseball.

Semus protested:
-Comon Sean! My girls braces are riding on this game! If we lose she’s got to have crooked teeth till next season.

-God damn it get your ass outside and give a hand.

The insects of the night gather around the video lights . With wings they come, some black, some with spekeld backs, but they come flying to the lights. The caterers bat them away, covering up the food under steel covers and the breads underneath cloths.

The assitant beuro cheif brags to the crews on brake:
-We have hired the best chef in the Golan to cook for us up here. He had to shut his resturant because no one want to vacation in the North with this situation.

There are murmurs, and awhs, and so sorrys, as the chef nods and smiles politely. Grab Sean another bottle of wine and look at the americans. They are all wearing shorts and tee shirts. They are all batting at the mosquitos on their arms and legs. It is best to dress in long light linens,  black pants and a red shirt. It is best to wear bug repellant bug repellent at night and in the light you wear sunblock 50. Funny how the assistant beuro chief thinks of hireing the best chef in the Occupied Golan and doesn’t think of putting out sunblock and bug repellent. Does he like watching Americans scratch and burn? Or is it just easier to keep them on a short leash that way?

Run back inside and up the stairs, hand Sean his bottle of wine and look at the monitors.

Jimmy points at the screen:
-Look at Kahuna, he is just the best. Look he just left the teleprompter script, he is making the changes he wants to make and wait, wait, wait. he’s back on. Not even a hitch, not even a bump. He’s just so fucking smooth.

Sean pours himself another glass of the ruby clear wine and says:
-It was fucking pointless bringing over prompter for this guy. He doesn’t fucking need it. To spend this fucking money on a video path all the way back from New York, and then the nightmare of trying to sync it. With a guy this good, why does New York even want to put words in his mouth.

They are right, Kahuna is amazing. Talking to heads across time zones, this guy standing on a box, spins from point to point, listening to ever one coming in and waiting for an opening. Less corispondent than cobra, he is quick. And the questions are real. What separates him from Cronkite?

Cronkite was a mass of pain, belife and care, who held back the tears and the jugments. Objectivity for Cronkite was a religion. Underneath Kahuna is cold steel, and cynicism. For Kahuna objectivity is the knowledge that no one is innocent. Kahuna probably does a better job.

The  heliocopters that went down, one over the border that Hez say they shot down, and the two that crashed into each other up here. We still can’t get a confirmation on if they were Cobras or Apaches.

Footage has come back from the sight, it’s metal, scorched earthed, and an ambulance. The cops part ways and guide the cameramen to the scene.

Pump out the tape, back to New York, where it will arrive like drops of rain.

The wind kicks up high shaking the lights, you can see them moving across Kahuna’s face. Run out and grab the stand. Wind your hand up the stand, closer to the light, hold it firm. The bugs flie around us, ever closer, one of the camera man slaps his neck and smears blood across it.

Kahuna gets down off the case, checks his blackberry. We have called a car for him. He looks up:
-Fuck, what the fuck are these guys going to do. There’s no way they can pull off a military victory on this. Only way is to just kill everyone in Lebanon.

He smiled like he just solved a math problem.



Impossible peaces : The Jordainian Option

Two state solution – uni-national

Jordan takes the West Bank back into the nation and also assumes control of Gaza. This option is prefered by many settler groups and by some of the Israeli old guard. Jordans pragmatism and relative secularism calms fears of a terror state emerging next door. Some deals could be reached to leave the settlements in place and leave East Jerusalem in Israel.

Palestinian conservatives also like this option, with the West Bank having been a part of Jordan from ’48 to ’67, roughly two thirds of the population are of Palestinain decent (though less than half of those people claim that cultural idenity and refugee status) and particually with Queen Rania being a Palestinian from Jenin.

The only people that are against it are the Hashemites. The addition of two million more Palestinians into a country that has always treated them as second class citizens, would almost certainly set off a civil war. This would probably leave some form of terror state in its place.

Of course this seems to be the desired result.

Click here to enter The Electric Mosque 

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